When people talk about moving abroad, there’s lots of focus on the where. Where will you live? Where will you work? Where will you travel once you’re there? And of course how is going to be a huge part of it — how to apply for a visa, how to move with pets or children, how to find a house. And when is a conversation all on its own.
But where (and how, and when) only go so far before you start to appreciate the value of, and start reaching for, something else: who. Because the community you find makes life abroad that much more rich and welcoming. It makes the preparations to move abroad that much less stressful and confusing. And even when you’re still just considering a move abroad, it can help you move forward with greater confidence.
Community matters.
If you’re not ready (yet)
It seems obvious, but the biggest barrier to moving abroad is the belief that you can’t do it — that even if other people have done it, that’s Other People, not you.
You don’t even need advice on how to take the first step — you just need possibility. And community is a great source of possibility. Talking with people who are as uncertain as you are can make you feel less alone, and talking with people who really are taking the next step turns them from Other People to actual people — even people like you.
You can find Facebook groups and Reddit subs full of people who are in the same place you are, and even just being in the environment and listening to the stories can help you get into a new mindset. Community is proof that this whole thing is real, and the life you’re only imagining could be on the other side of that first step.
If you’re on your way
Communities of other aspiring expats (like, for instance, the Expatsi Fam Facebook group) seem like an obvious choice when you’re going through the steps toward moving abroad, picking a country, sorting out a visa, looking for work or schools or real estate. You’re surrounded by people who can provide answers and on-the-ground wisdom to help you through the process.
It isn’t just that, though. It’s also encouragement when you’re struggling — even just knowing there are answers to your concerns can help you get unstuck when you’re stuck. It’s emotional accountability, with people looking out for you and reminding you what you’re working toward when you start to lose motivation.
The virtual equivalent of sitting down with a cup of coffee and saying, “We’ve all been there, just let it out” — that’s what you have in your community. Let them help move you forward.
If you’re there
You’ve done everything you’re supposed to do, and you’ve living in the new home country you’ve been dreaming of. You feel like you’ve achieved it all — but at the same time, you feel like there’s something left to do.
Everything is new and different — but at the same time, everything’s new and different. The currency looks weird, your phone keeps autocorrecting to the wrong language, you can’t find peanut butter, and also Celsius. Your new home is full of things to explore, every flavor is fresh and new, whatever chaos might exist in your old home is behind you, and you’ve accomplished something you might not have thought you’d be able to accomplish.
What’s left to do is sharing those things with other people.
Community in your new country takes different forms, and they’re all important. Finding others with similar interests and experiences is important for sharing support. And finding your place within your new neighborhood, town, region, is important, too. Learning the language, picking up on the customs, and appreciating the culture are all part of finding home. It’s where you stop just staying in a new place and start really living there.
Be the company you want to keep
Moving abroad is about community — if you didn’t want to commune with other people, you’d be looking for a hermit cave, not a new home country. When you’re feeling uncertain, worried, confused, excited, or elated, the answer can almost always be found in other people (even if you aren’t an “other people” kind of person — even lurking can provide a sense of community).
And remember that every community isn’t just support for you — you’re support for others, too. Someday, you’ll be the inspiration for someone who never thought moving abroad could be for them. Or the answers for someone confused about the process of moving. Or the seasoned local taking the new expat under your wing, answering their questions and and showing them the best food and most beautiful views in town.
